The Cooper Saga 39 (Stories 381-390) by Bill Bernico

Author:Bill Bernico [Bernico, Bill]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Full Court Press

Private investigator John Cooper was sitting in the gallery of the local courthouse, waiting to give his testimony in a criminal case that he had worked on two months previous. He told his father, Nick, who was also his business partner, that he should be in and out of court in fifteen minutes if all things went as planned. They didn’t. As luck would have it, the witness that was called to the stand ahead of him managed to throw a wrench into the workings of an otherwise smooth operation.

The prosecutor called the witness to the stand. The man in question rose from the gallery seat and stepped up to the witness stand. The court clerk held his own right hand in the air, expecting the witness to do likewise. In his left hand the clerk held a bible flat, fully expecting the witness to lay his hand on it. When the witness didn’t do either of those things, the clerk said, “Place your left hand on the bible, raise your right hand and repeat after me.” When he still got no cooperation from the witness, the clerk turned to the judge with a question on his face. “Your honor.”

The judge turned to the witness and said, “The witness will do as he is instructed. Now place you left hand on the bible and…”

The witness now spoke up. “What for? What will that prove that I’ve put my hand on that old work of fiction. I don’t follow any of those beliefs so why should I?”

The judge looked at the clerk and said, “Just continue without the bible just this once.”

“Yes, your honor,” the clerk said and laid the bible on a nearby table before turning back to the witness and saying, “Raise your right hand.”

The witness complied this time and waited for the clerk’s canned schpeel.

The clerk began with, “Do you solemnly swear that the evidence you are about to give will be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?”

The witness rolled his eyes at the clerk and said, “Try it again, only this time leave out any reference to that made-up deity that you people believe in.”

The clerk turned to the judge and shrugged, spreading his hands. The judge gave a stern look to the witness and said, “Young man, are you trying to disrupt this court by being obstinate? Just answer the clerk’s question.”

“Why should I swear to your god? I don’t subscribe to any organized religion. Besides, would swearing to your god make my testimony any more valid? I am capable of telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth all on my own without any help from your god. Now, do you want my testimony or don’t you?”

The judge sighed heavily and instructed the clerk to repeat the request, leaving out the reference to god. The witness repeated this version and took a seat in the witness chair. The prosecuting attorney stepped up

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.